Boyfriend: All I’m doing is unleashing the true potential of what you made.
Felicity: Why, this isn’t who you are.
Boyfriend: 5 years for the NSA, you learn a lot about how the world works. How we can’t be saved or salvaged. How it is every man for himself. You also learn that when a city bank goes under a, say, significant cyber attack, the mayor will reach out to the treasury department.
First, this is very classic abusive, trying to turn the ill-will and actions of yourself off onto the other person as if they are responsible. Obviously not a good guy at heart.
Secondly, what phase is he in? Playboy? Broken? I don’t think he is surviving. He isn’t really trained. Looking more closely I’d say he is still in the playboy phase and is refusing to be broken, kinda like Laurel was in the beginning of season 2. He is totally unaware of so much (what he is up against, who can stop him, or even that Felicity’s mother has a watch with wifi), he can’t do anything on his own (I mean he has to kidnap Felicity), even his goal is very small, uncreative, and has little heart or passion behind it. It’s like he was immediately removed from jail to work for the NSA and so he never had to face the reality of what he did. He never broke…but he is resentful and now he is more of a puppet. A true villain like Slade) could use him as a pawn but on his own he is kinda pitiful (even Felicity could take him out). This is the danger of not allowing yourself to be broken. Laurel was there (with the alcohol and pain killers) but she eventually allowed herself to feel, it broke her…but now it has allowed her to move into survival, and hopefully on to much more. Noone likes to be broken but if we avoid this phase we can never move past it. The extent to which we are broken is the extent of a hero we can become.